“I was gonna get flight. But everybody wants flight. Plus, I didn’t want to invest in the gear. You know how much a good helmet costs these days? I tried superhuman strength—destroyed my laptop and two guitars before I took it back. No control. I exchanged it for an ability to commune with animals. It was great for a while, soaring with the crows, setting rabid opossums on people. But after it’s all said and done those animals want to hang out. You know how much a rabid opossum eats? It’s ridiculous. I didn’t have enough credit for psychokinesis and my friend’s been in a mental ward ever since he got mind reading. I was gonna get walking through walls, but the sales guy advised against it. Maybe I’ll get two minor ones, like stretchy arms or gecko hands. Somebody at this party told me that lie detection is pretty cheap right now. We’ll see. I’ve got 30 days to decide.”
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